IFS Basics: What is a part?
In Internal Family Systems (IFS), we understand the mind to be naturally plural and that is a good thing. This plurality can be most clearly noticed in our day to day life when parts are in conflict:
A part of you knows you ought to learn German, but a part of you wants to watch netflix.
A part of you is infuriated by the outrageous thing your partner just said to you, but another part still loves them and wants to work things out.
A part of you is happy to have moved to Berlin, but a part of you wishes you weren’t so often on the receiving end of Berliner Schnauze.
A part of you wants to tell your boss what you really think of their suggestion, but another part wants you to keep your job.
Sound familiar? Even when parts aren’t in conflict, they can be easy to spot. Have you ever found yourself behaving more like a child when you are with your parents? Seen someone seemingly turn into a different person in times of stress? Or had a voice in your head that criticises almost everything you do?
In IFS, we assume this sense of having multiple perspectives inside of us to be really how our minds work. It’s like having an internal family, or team, each member having different personalities, ages, moods, and even beliefs. These parts express themselves through thoughts, feelings and physical sensations and can even influence physical symptoms. They can (and usually do) take the driver’s seat in our consciousness, controlling what we say and do, so we don’t notice that they are separate from the core of our being - the Self. In other words, if you are feeling anything other than self energy, it’s a part.
Roles of parts
It’s thought that we are born with parts, and that they had productive and useful roles, such as a part that imagines potential future outcomes and motivates us to act to avoid them. As we grow and different behaviours are rewarded or punished, the parts adapt their roles accordingly. More drastic shifts occur when something traumatic happens and parts can take on more extreme roles.
Parts can either represent ourselves at the point in time that a wounding or traumatic event occurred, or they take on a job that protects these wounded parts. Trauma expert Janina Fisher explains that the Self separates into a part that experienced the trauma, and a part that is “not” that trauma and goes on with normal life. In IFS, we call these wounded parts exiles, as their feelings are exiled from conscious awareness by the protectors. The protectors either try to prevent the exiled feelings from being activated or try to make them disappear again when they surface. These are sometimes called “managers” and “firefighters” respectively, though in practice this difference in approach isn’t so important.
The strategies adopted by the parts are extensively varied, and because we were wounded in similar ways, people have parts with similar roles. Do you recognise any of these protectors in yourself?
Common parts
This is far from an exhaustive list, though you may like to check out other lists here and here. These protectors work very hard to prevent the exiles they protect from experiencing the pain, shame, neglect, abuse or rejection that they did in the past. For the exiles, it can be as though time has stood still, and they repeat the same experiences over and over.
In IFS therapy, you get to know your parts and work towards getting protectors to relax their roles - they normally don’t want to be doing the job, or working so hard! If you’d like to learn more, you can attend one of my IFS workshops or get a free first session.
